When It Feels Right.

I started off my year horribly. A manipulative man who sucked me into his vortex of self-destruction and pain seduced me and stole that which I had kept safe for so long, all because he was drunk and he wanted to. … This cretin started my downward spiral into a dangerous and disgusting lifestyle and I felt cursed being alive. I wanted to clean myself and had no one to treat me better than a used toy, passed around…

quicksand

And then, I moved. I changed my environment but the feelings and self-destruction was all still there. As I thought I would spiral downwards again, still suck in the quicksand of self-destruction, a man reached out to me and the sand stopped swallowing me. I looked at him and he looked at me. And then, with his self-love and kindness, he pulled me from the quicksand and dragged me onto solid ground.

He helped me stand, gave me water, and supported me with his own strength. We started hobbling and then, I grew stronger to carry my own weight on my legs, but he held onto me, just in case. And when I was back to myself, instead of holding me upright, he held my hand, to lead me. And… it just all felt right.

The man who saved me became my Stud Muffin. He is the main reason I had the strength to walk away from the destructive lifestyle taught to me by the first who abused me. He was the one who gave me help and compromised his schedule to make time for me. He showed me how a GOOD man treats his woman and I proudly call him mine. I’m sure we’ll hit many more obstacles in the future, but he gave me self-worth and empowered me to seek happiness in the right way.

I guess, this is how it is… when it feels right.

 

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